Prioritizing the problems

Sexual assault and abuse statistics are difficult to fully comprehend without comparing numbers.  They are also difficult to get exact, but let’s take what seem the be the most accepted numbers at 1 in 6 for American women and 1 in 33 for American men.  In 2010, the US population was recorded at 311,591,917. 50.8% were female, leaving 49.2% being male.  That means there were approximately 158,288,694 females and 153,303,223 males.

With the statistics listed above, that comes to 26,381,449.5 (let’s round to 26,381,450) females and 4,645,552 (we’ll round the extra .17 down despite my urge to suggest there are probably many more than this) males having been sexually assaulted in the U.S.  That comes to a grand total of 31,027,002 people based on widely accepted estimates.  Mind you, some estimates are as high as 1 in 3 or 4 females and 1 in 5 or 6 males – which would make for much higher numbers.  Even if you take the numbers I’ve come up with, that’s 10% of the population.  If you go with the less conservative figures, you find that the total becomes 65,122,712 (20.9%) Americans who have experienced a sexual assault.

So, somewhere between 31 million and 65 million is the most likely number.  With the average of the two numbers being 47 million, it sounds like a large number… like something should be done about this… like it’s an epidemic!!  I mean, if 47 million people had H1N1 when it went on a spree, the world (not just the U.S.) would have panicked.

Instead, very little is done by the United States government.  They offer quick sound bites about sexual assault… especially when talking about abortion, but they don’t really do much of anything.  Here’s the interesting part: as of 2010, the United States had approximately 49.9 million people without health care coverage.  About 16.3% of the population.  In case you don’t get American news… or you’ve been living in the hat of a small leprechaun off the shores of Madagascar, the health care debate has been a very hot one for many years here.  Because so many people have no health insurance.

Let’s go back to the conservative figure, though.  31 million.  Let’s put that into a little perspective using the 2010 U.S. census (rounding to the nearest million – and please remember people identified themselves as such, not me).

  • 39 million exclusively black/African-American
  • 50 million Latino/Hispanic
  • 15 million Asian

Note the how the numbers compare to the numbers of sexual assault survivors.  Other statistics on hot topics/causes of the day from various reports and studies (years vary, numbers are rounded, etc.):

  • 9 million people follow non-Christian religions (Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, etc.)
  • 34 million people have no religion (atheists/agnostics)
  • 29 million people within Lutheran, Methodist, United Church of Christ, Episcopalian, and Presbyterian combined
  • 22 million military veterans
  • 4 million babies born each year in the U.S.
  • 16 million children living in poverty in the U.S.
  • Between 1.2 and 1.6 million abortions are performed every year
  • 50 million people without health insurance
  • 209,000 people diagnosed with lung cancer (2008)
  • 2.6 million breast cancer survivors
  • 11,000 fatalities due to a legally drunk driver
  • 5.2 million children have ever been diagnosed with ADHD
  • 1-1.5 million people have an autism spectrum disorder
  • 370,000 pregnancies per year for females aged 15-19 (no readily available stats on how many are from abuse/assault)
  • 47 million (remember that averaged statistic of abuse/assault?) recipients of Social Security
  • 47.5 million Medicaid enrollees

How many of those issues/people are fought for?  How many times a day do you hear someone mention at least 2 or 3 of these issues/people?   How many do you interact with on a daily basis?  Most of the statistics are lower than the conservative numbers for survivors of sexual assault/abuse.  And all of them are below the more liberal statistics of sexual assault/abuse rates.  Yet, our lawmakers sit back and do so little.  They make victims pay for rape kits, they throw out criminal cases for various reasons like they’re last week’s tuna casserole, they redefine rape as having to be forcible – because they have this crazy notion that unless you’re bloody and bruised, it’s not rape.

It’s appalling to me!  Yes, all the other people listed in the above statistics deserve notice and help, too.  I will never deny that!  But, why are our voices silent?  Why doesn’t the current presidential race inundate itself with messages of how the laws will change to seek justice for rapists, pedophiles, etc.?  Why aren’t there debates about how long we should put a child rapist in jail instead of how long do we jail potheads?!  Just once, I’d like to hear a front running presidential candidate offer a speech exclusively about sexual violence instead of whether solar power is a reliable source of energy.  All I want is a world without sexual violence… why won’t they at least help us?

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Back to my fight

I’ve found something else to consider in the “punishment” of Dr. Houshang Ma’ani.  Upon researching the Baha’i administrative rights, I have found something very interesting.  The sanctions imposed upon a Baha’i when their administrative rights are removed can include the following: voting rights, participation in the Nineteen Day Feast (most similar to a weekly church attendance for those who don’t know), serving on assemblies (Local, National), serving on committees, representing the Baha’i Faith in public, and contributing to the Baha’i Faith Fund.  There may be more that I am unaware of at this time, but those are the sanctions I was able to find reference to… from a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice.

First… what is the Universal House of Justice?  It is the highest governing spiritual body in the Baha’i Faith.  Simply put, it would be similar to the Pope… but with several members and not the kind of tyranny the Pope seems to dispense.

Second… one of the administrative rights that would be removed (when all are removed) is contributing money to the Baha’i Fund – money that the National Spiritual Assembly uses for whatever they feel is necessary to assist the Baha’i Faith.  Dr. Ma’ani was a wealthy man and, undoubtedly, contributed quite a bit of money over the time of his life.  It is also very likely, as he was known to be quite the philanthropist, that he willed money to the Baha’i Faith (as many Baha’is are said to do) – although, that is just idle imagining.  Meaning, if Dr. Ma’ani died without his Baha’i administrative rights, he could not contribute even a dime to the Baha’i Faith through his will.

I am making no accusations.  I am merely taking another look at the sequence of events and creating a personal hypothesis of what transpired during the last several months.  Did the National Spiritual Assembly sell their souls (and mine) for money?

November 2011 – I reported the sexual assault to my Local Spiritual Assembly.  They sought advice from an Auxiliary Board Member via her assistant.  The advice given was to contact the National Spiritual Assembly about the matter.

November/December 2011 – The Local Spiritual Assembly procures two apologies from Dr. Ma’ani regarding my claims.  Neither letter admitted any wrongdoing on his part… just an apology that I was upset about what happened.

Late December 2011 – The LSA met with me to reveal the apology letters and ask what I wanted to do from there.  It was decided to contact the National Spiritual Assembly and forward requests I had in the matter (a proper apology, protection from backlash from the Baha’i community, acknowledgment of any other assaults he had perpetrated)

January 2012 – The Local Spiritual Assembly wrote a letter to the NSA explaining everything and including the letters from Dr. Ma’ani and me regarding the assault.

April 2012 – The National Spiritual Assembly hands down (to the LSA) their original decision to remove administrative rights.

May 1, 2012 – Dr. Ma’ani writes to the NSA to beg their forgiveness.  It is unclear as to when the NSA actually read this letter.

May 11, 2012 – The Auxiliary Board Member meets with Dr. Ma’ani to explain his administrative rights have been revoked by the National Spiritual Assembly.  She reports back to the NSA that he is gravely ill. (and from what I understand, his privileges were not revoked at this time)

May 16, 2012 – The NSA writes to the Local Spiritual Assembly again to reverse their previous decision.  Two sanctions are placed on Dr. Ma’ani instead (not serving on a Baha’i institution, no unsupervised contact with minors at Baha’i activities.***)

June 18, 2012 – After finding out the decisions made by the NSA, I write to them to express my concerns with how they handled the issue.

August 10, 2012 – Many attempts at contact later… the NSA finally responds to me.  Summed up, the letter reads as follows:

We read your letter.  We’re sorry you were assaulted.  We’re sorry we took a long time to contact you.  We don’t like how you were treated 15 years ago and we’ve changed things.  We’ve dealt with this case very swiftly and harshly despite Dr. Ma’ani’s ill health.  Then, he apologized to us.  All religions want us to be better people.  So, when he said “sorry” and we knew he was dying, we reinstated his rights.  If he hadn’t been dying, we would have left the punishment as acknowledgment of his crimes and to warn others not to do this.  We thought telling the truth to the community was unnecessary as he would soon be dead.  But, we meant to write to you before now.  We know you are hurt and can’t forget, but please try to.  You can be angry with Dr. Ma’ani, but remember God will do with him as He sees fit.  The worst thing is, you didn’t participate in Baha’i functions [such as parties, spiritual meetings and contributing to the Fund.]  We hope you will “redeem” those years by working extra hard in the Baha’i community.  We’ll pray for you.

*** The restriction of no unsupervised contact with minors at Baha’i functions was pointless as Dr. Ma’ani was in hospice care at the time – which was made known to the NSA.  The restrictions imposed were, at best, empty symbolism.

Let’s skip to today. Today, I see the letter, aside from being very dismissive, never alluding to many of the issues I had with them.  It was much more of a “well, that’s our decision, so there!  Oh, and yes, we feel sorry for you.”  They made no comment, in the letter, about the other victims.  They made no comment on whether Dr. Ma’ani ever actually accepted blame or apologized to his other victims.  I was NOT offered any kind of protection throughout any of this… unless they count silencing me as protection.  In fact, they never even really acknowledged that he assaulted me.  They said they were sorry that I was haunted by “memories of sexual abuse”… I reported “an incident”… they called it “your [my] story“… they called the assault “reported events”… they said that Dr. Ma’ani “wronged” me with his “misconduct”.  Sure, they toss in the occasional word to make it sound like they disagree with what he did: reprehensible, detrimental, transgressions (which is an odd word to use since the common connotation of that word is a lot less harsh than its actual definition.)  This is how they handled an assault that included a confession – a confession stating that in his 60s, with a position of implied power, he touched a 16 year old sexually!

Something else that bothers me… he got to see my letter that included very personal information.  It included my feelings about what he did… his grooming, his attack, even his attempt to continue a sexual relationship with me after the assault.  He read that letter so that he knew what he needed to apologize for.  But, when he supposedly apologized to the National Spiritual Assembly (I’m still trying to figure out why he needed to apologize to them,) I did not get a chance to see, or hear, what he wrote at all.

Dr. Houshang Ma’ani, despite his confession, was offered much more protection than I was.  Over 20 years of freedom from blame and confrontation, a stellar reputation amongst both Baha’i and non-Baha’i communities, protection of his privacy (I couldn’t see his letter… I couldn’t talk about the assault as it was his life, not mine,) exoneration before his death so he could be at peace.

Which leads me to back to the beginning… why would they go to such great and speedy efforts to protect a dying child molester?  Sure, there’s the reputation of the Baha’i Faith.  They’re obviously very attached to their public persona… but even if this had been made public amongst Baha’is, this would not have been front page news.  So, what else could be driving them?  Perhaps it was the money.  Perhaps, Dr. Ma’ani was able to rent me for sexual pleasure with the money he gave to the Baha’i fund – without any worry of consequences.  If that’s true… that makes me an unwilling prostitute… with the National Spiritual Assembly as my pimps.

Wow.

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Feeling sorry for myself

I don’t write everything I think here.  Maybe I’ll start another page for me to vent… until then, I’m doing it here and now.  In real life, I don’t get to say very much about what’s going on with me.  I have a husband to listen to me, but the kids need to be out of earshot… plus, he’s heard it all a million times (and really, how good is your relationship going to be if the only thing that comes out of your mouth is related to sexual abuse/assault?)  I have a few friends that I see rarely, at best.  And they aren’t close enough that I can dump these thoughts on them.  The few other people I have in my life that are close enough to hear this stuff either don’t care or seem to honestly believe that eating a late lunch is a greater trial for them than sexual abuse has been for me.

Yeah, I know… get new friends.  I’d love to, but aside from living in a suburb full of people pretending to be better than everyone else, having small kids and no babysitter, having no money, and only rarely feeling like leaving the house… I don’t have a lot of opportunity to leave the house.  Another glaring problem is that it seems when I do make friends, they seem to gain some level of sexual/romantic interest in me (I tend to befriend males a lot more than females.)  So, making friends hasn’t always been the safest thing for me.  This leaves me with a very limited number of people to confide in.  Admittedly, I have made a couple very good friends via the internet… and wish they could be geographically closer… but even then, they wouldn’t deserve to listen to my problems all day.

Which leads me to this blog.  It’s the only place I know I can vent without being reprimanded, dismissed, ignored, argued with, etc.  Of course, the National Spiritual Assembly of the Baha’is of the United States has kind of taken that from me by spying on this blog relentlessly… but I need to be able to get things out of my head.  Maybe they’ll learn a little compassion if they read?

So, without further ado… this may be very difficult for survivors, secondary survivors, or anyone under the age of 18.  If you are not entirely certain you can read this safely, please do not read at all.

Throughout a day, I have seemingly hundreds of images, thoughts and feelings fly through my head.  It usually starts just before I wake up in the morning – due to nightmares that wake me prematurely from my sleep.  That always does the trick to get my mind working… “was that a memory or a just a dream?”  “Could my father really have done that?”  “I need to remember this so I can research it better.”  Just this morning, I woke up after having some form of nightmare involving my father and my sister (whom he also abused.)  The last thing I saw was a yellow card that showed me proof that she and I were not the only ones he abused.  I was told, in the dream, that I need to look into more police reports on him… that there may be others (my sister was brave enough to report him and he got a slap on the wrist when he pleaded guilty to lesser charges.)

That, of course, had me up before 5 am and monopolized the next several hours of my day while I tried to find clues online.  I came up with nothing.  But, other days I just have the memories and dreams go through my head.  I’ve had several nightmares of my father raping me.  I see incomplete memories that always seem to cut off right before sexual contact happens.  And then, I have the others… the others who swim around inside my head all wanting a chance to say their piece, but never having anything to say.  Some days I just want to scream to the world “I was forced to suck my father’s dick!!!”  I know it won’t accomplish anything, but living a “normal” life is so difficult.

I use facebook, as so many of us do.  I get those posts from people who say things like “Be grateful for what you have…” or “Here’s why you should quit complaining about _______….” followed by a story of a dog who was mistreated or a woman who died of cancer in front of her husband.  Now, please don’t get me wrong… they’re sad stories.  But, why should I be thankful I was abused and raped by my father for a decade?!  Some dog’s tragedy should make me feel like I have it good in life?  Maybe I thought I did have a good life – when I didn’t know what happened to me… but that was when I thought I was beyond crazy, too.  So, to continue on my self-pity theme, what should I be thankful for?  Is it years of hearing voices that tell me I should kill myself or that no one loves me?  Is it years of sexual dysfunction that ranges from so reserved that I get sick at the sight of a naked man all the way to fantasizing about being raped repeatedly?  Or maybe I should be grateful for the sudden bursts of dry heaving and wild sobbing when something triggers me.  Or maybe I should even be thankful for all of the other assaults because without my father abusing me, I may not have had the chance to have been a victim ever.

So, it makes me a bitter person, but… NO!  I won’t be grateful!!  I don’t have to see other people’s tragedies as worse than my own and be force fed guilt to make me feel selfish.  I spent my whole life giving to others… and only in the last two years did I try to spend some of my effort on me – due to remembering my father’s abuse.  Even my abuse, from what I can figure out, was possible because I wanted to protect others.  I can see it wasn’t my fault… but I think if I had been more concerned for myself, maybe things would have been different.  Maybe not… who knows?

Basically, I’m tired of being told how easy I have it.  Maybe most people at my age have had time to deal with abuse, but I still don’t even know everything that happened – not even 25% of it.  I’m still finding out what happened and it’s all new and raw for me.  On top of that, I am experiencing emotions I’ve never really known – so I’m easily exhausted and confused and unstable.  But, no, I have it much better than the dog who was put on a leash for too long… or the woman who drank herself to death and now her family wants pity.  I don’t even think that I have it better than (and this will make many people very angry, I’m sure) than the child who dies from cancer.  I don’t deny the grave suffering by the child or their family – not in the slightest.  But, I have a level of envy, too.  How I wish I could have died so many years ago to avoid further pain.  But, my view of death probably alters my opinion on the matter greatly (I see death as a wonderful beginning of the next life – not something that is surrounded by loss and grief.)

So, there it is.  I am an incredibly self-centered person now.  That’s fine, I guess… I keep being told by my therapist that I need to be more selfish so I can get through life right now.  But all I really want is a friend that I can call up or meet with and say “You know, I can feel his prick in my throat again.  I can see him touching me from across the room again.  I can feel him fucking me… and I just want to be held and told I’m okay.  I just want someone who seems to care more about my pain than their own… or more about me than seeking revenge on the people who did these things to me.  Oh… and I want some ice cream.”

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Putting prevention on the victims

I’ve been looking at our rape culture lately.  I’ve seen the jokes, the anger from men for being called rapists “unjustly”, etc.  I can’t begin to explain the sadness it evokes in me.  So, today, I wanted to show what the media, society and even experts tell people to do to avoid being raped.  I’m typing this calmly despite the fury in my head… because if I typed the way I felt about these “suggestions,” it would be a garbled mess of swearing – which wouldn’t get the message across to anyone.  Mind you, all of this advice is offered to females – never males.  In the media, males always rape and females are always the ones who are raped.   (warning – if you think you detect sarcasm, you are undoubtedly correct)

Be aware of your surroundings.  – Okay, the problem with this is hyperawareness.    Basically, they are telling women that unless they sacrifice every moment of life to watch their surroundings all the time, then they are at fault for being raped.

Understand that your hairstyle could benefit an attacker.  – So, clothing wasn’t enough?!  Now women need to cut off their hair to prevent rape??  What’s next… shall we all get mastectomies to prevent rapists from coming after us for our breasts?

Stay careful at parties and bars.  – Because they know that women only go there to be as careless as possible and flaunt their bodies around begging to be raped…?  How about we ban rapists from having social lives instead?  Even drunk drivers get their access to drinking and driving reduced or cut off completely.

Work on being assertive.  – Because men who want power over women will only pick obviously weak women?!?  NO!  From what I have noticed, they choose the toughest woman they can take down… they won’t feel powerful if they overpower a mouse.  Also, again, it puts victims at blame because we’re not allowed to be ourselves – we have to change who we are to prevent someone else raping US!  The rapists are allowed to be whomever they wish to be.

Understand that Vans are the #1 vehicles used in rapes.  – There you are women… don’t buy a van, get into a van, look at a van and be sure to run screaming if you ever see a van.  It’s a woman’s fault for her to assume that a motor vehicle is not a den of crime and horror.

Understand vulnerability factors. (previous abuse/assault, drugs/alcohol, age, etc.)  – Because if you understand your chances of being raped, then it will be less likely for you to be raped……. or not.

Learn to sing. (this means Solar Plexus-Instep-Nose-Groin)  – Because if you don’t fight back hard enough, it must be your fault.  If you only get 3 of the 4, then you didn’t try hard enough… and the rapist is not guilty of a crime.

That’s just a sampling from wikiHow.com.  There are plenty more examples of advice on how a woman can avoid a man raping her.  I guess they never mention “kill the guy before he rapes you” because if we, as the victims, are to blame for our rapes (like society seems to claim), then the killing would not be in self-defense.

In case you hadn’t noticed, I am TIRED of people blaming the victims of crime. I can’t say that I have ever heard “he deserved to be shot because he was wearing a hat” or “they deserved to have their house broken into because they went on vacation.”  Could both of those situations be prevented?  Of course!  Does society blame them?  No!

The real problem is that women are stronger than men.  Every religious text implies it – some outright say it.  Our bodies cause men to be weak in their own eyes through temptation, involuntary bodily functions, and emotions.  Muslim women are covered for their safety, not for shame of who they are… because God knows the weakness of man and the entitlement he feels.  Mary was twisted into a prostitute just so that she appeared inferior to the apostles!

That being said, yes… I do know that women rape, I do know that men rape men… I am fully aware of this.  It angers me just as much as men raping women.  Even with the increased awareness that rape is a violent crime of power, I don’t think people are getting it yet.  It’s not always just physical power, it’s not just strength these rapists want to prove… they want control.  One doesn’t need to be violent to control.  We are talking the typical power-hungry people of Wall Street and politicians.  They spend their lives seeking to control others – and very rarely do they use violence to do it.  They even use rape victims to gain more power and control – “rape must be ‘forcible,'” “men can’t be raped,” “she regretted consensual sex,” “it’s almost impossible to get pregnant by rape [because I don’t want a good reason to uphold the legality of abortion].”  It’s ALL about control.  Even the National Spiritual Assembly of the United States is trying to control me by telling me to be silent.  And after typing all of this out, I think this is the first time in my life I’ve ever seriously considered supporting the legalization of marijuana.  Maybe it would make people chill out a bit more and need control a bit less.

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Another day, another score of hits

Welcome to any new readers!  I trust you found this site due to my newfound popularity.

So… another college football coach has been arrested. (see here)  It appears Hoffner used his own children to make pornography for his cellphone.  He claims that the images are merely family photos.  Hopefully, the truth will come forward… and, hopefully for his childrens’ sakes, he’s not lying… just a severely stupid man.  But, I find it highly unlikely that law enforcement would find innocent images of children and charge and arrest someone over it.

With all the current hype over sexual assault and abuse (I have a reason for calling it “hype”), I can’t help but think of my abuse – no matter how hard I try not to.  No matter what I know, I still don’t know it all – I still have so many unanswered questions.  The news with Sandusky was that he was possibly part of a pedophile ring.  My research indicates that pedophile rings grew in popularity in the 1970s.  It makes me wonder if my father had been part of a ring… and whether that affected my abuse.  But, wondering all that doesn’t change the future for others.  My big concern, now, is the internet – where it’s easy to find anything and easy to stay anonymous.

I’m not usually one of those people who believe that video games can turn children into mass murdering monsters, but when it comes to the internet and porn, I believe that there are a lot of people looking at, and trying, new things they never would have before.  I strongly believe the internet is bringing new types of pornography to the masses.  Think about it, a 15 year old boy (sorry, not trying to be sexist) sitting at his computer and bored with his homework, decides he wants a little visual stimulation while his parents are out for the evening.  He googles his favourite sex act for some pictures… and, lo and behold, there are all sorts of images he didn’t ask for in his search.  With a typical internet search engine (filters off), you’ll find hetero and homosexual sex, toys, animals, ages usually ranging from 17 (and some look younger) to 85, animation, drawings, stories, videos, etc.  All the kid was hoping to find was an image of oral sex – and he’s just found a plethora of new ideas.  As he browses through the images, he gets more and more excited… do you honestly think he’s going to care at that point what shows on his screen?  He might see a few images of children – but he’s not seeing them as children anymore, he’s seeing them as someone involved in a sex act.  Plus, he’s 15… a 12 or 13 year old might not seem that young to him.  So, he looks… he enjoys.  A few weeks later, he looks for more just like that because that one has “gotten old.”

A year passes and he’s found a lot of similar sites with similar pictures – it’s not doing any harm, he’s just seeking out his own interests and enjoying pictures, right?

Two more years pass, he’s hooked on finding young people performing sex acts.  He knows it’s wrong, but the thrill of being wrong only increases his excitement – the thought of taboo sex can be quite scintillating.  All he needs to do is make sure no one sees what websites he’s visited.

Three more years, he’s now 21… he’s been everywhere he can be on the internet – he can’t find anything he hasn’t seen a million times before.  It’s boring and what’s available to him doesn’t do what it used to do for him.  Sure, he has a partner who excites him – but it’s never quite as good.  Sure, the partner is real life, the sense of touch is better than a picture… but something is always missing.  That’s where it all falls down.  Sex chat with minors online… finding minors who want to have sex with him… convincing children to have sex… forcing children to have sex.

It’s a logical progression… granted, it doesn’t happen to most people, but it is logical enough for it to happen.  How many pedophiles out there got their start from “acceptable” porn?  How many of them would have had an interest in children if they had never seen images of child sexual abuse?

The same could be said of any form of porn or sex, really.  How many people interested in S&M need more radical acts of masochism or sadism to reach the same level of arousal?  How many people who cheat love the rush so much that they seek out even more affairs?  I’m not putting either of those into a category with sexual abuse and assault – don’t get me wrong!!!  But, humans have a tendency to need more as they become desensitized to any form of stimulation.

In the case of child exploitation, I would be willing to believe that some people have run across it “accidentally” and just kept going.  The thing those people don’t think about when they first see it is that those children were real.  They were forced against their will to perform acts that ruined their lives.  They were physically, mentally and spiritually broken because of what happened to them in those images.  It doesn’t matter if they’re not crying… it was well beyond their capabilities to cry, probably – as in, they were physically unable to cry.  They don’t think about the fact that those children were doing those things because they thought their life (or someone else’s) was in danger.  They don’t see that those children are harmed because they don’t see broken bones, bruises or deep wounds.  But the sexual abuse that is happening to them in those images is just as bad, and often worse, than a broken bone.

But, it’s easy to ignore pain.  Most people don’t want to acknowledge pain.  If pain exists, that means the world isn’t easy and happy and all about money.  If pain exists, that means they didn’t do everything they could to make this world a better place.  So, for their own comfort, people choose to ignore the pain and twist horrifying experiences into something they can get selfish pleasure from.

… and with this filth out there, PETA is worried about photographic exploitation of animals.

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