I’ve been looking at our rape culture lately. I’ve seen the jokes, the anger from men for being called rapists “unjustly”, etc. I can’t begin to explain the sadness it evokes in me. So, today, I wanted to show what the media, society and even experts tell people to do to avoid being raped. I’m typing this calmly despite the fury in my head… because if I typed the way I felt about these “suggestions,” it would be a garbled mess of swearing – which wouldn’t get the message across to anyone. Mind you, all of this advice is offered to females – never males. In the media, males always rape and females are always the ones who are raped. (warning – if you think you detect sarcasm, you are undoubtedly correct)
Be aware of your surroundings. – Okay, the problem with this is hyperawareness. Basically, they are telling women that unless they sacrifice every moment of life to watch their surroundings all the time, then they are at fault for being raped.
Understand that your hairstyle could benefit an attacker. – So, clothing wasn’t enough?! Now women need to cut off their hair to prevent rape?? What’s next… shall we all get mastectomies to prevent rapists from coming after us for our breasts?
Stay careful at parties and bars. – Because they know that women only go there to be as careless as possible and flaunt their bodies around begging to be raped…? How about we ban rapists from having social lives instead? Even drunk drivers get their access to drinking and driving reduced or cut off completely.
Work on being assertive. – Because men who want power over women will only pick obviously weak women?!? NO! From what I have noticed, they choose the toughest woman they can take down… they won’t feel powerful if they overpower a mouse. Also, again, it puts victims at blame because we’re not allowed to be ourselves – we have to change who we are to prevent someone else raping US! The rapists are allowed to be whomever they wish to be.
Understand that Vans are the #1 vehicles used in rapes. – There you are women… don’t buy a van, get into a van, look at a van and be sure to run screaming if you ever see a van. It’s a woman’s fault for her to assume that a motor vehicle is not a den of crime and horror.
Understand vulnerability factors. (previous abuse/assault, drugs/alcohol, age, etc.) – Because if you understand your chances of being raped, then it will be less likely for you to be raped……. or not.
Learn to sing. (this means Solar Plexus-Instep-Nose-Groin) – Because if you don’t fight back hard enough, it must be your fault. If you only get 3 of the 4, then you didn’t try hard enough… and the rapist is not guilty of a crime.
That’s just a sampling from wikiHow.com. There are plenty more examples of advice on how a woman can avoid a man raping her. I guess they never mention “kill the guy before he rapes you” because if we, as the victims, are to blame for our rapes (like society seems to claim), then the killing would not be in self-defense.
In case you hadn’t noticed, I am TIRED of people blaming the victims of crime. I can’t say that I have ever heard “he deserved to be shot because he was wearing a hat” or “they deserved to have their house broken into because they went on vacation.” Could both of those situations be prevented? Of course! Does society blame them? No!
The real problem is that women are stronger than men. Every religious text implies it – some outright say it. Our bodies cause men to be weak in their own eyes through temptation, involuntary bodily functions, and emotions. Muslim women are covered for their safety, not for shame of who they are… because God knows the weakness of man and the entitlement he feels. Mary was twisted into a prostitute just so that she appeared inferior to the apostles!
That being said, yes… I do know that women rape, I do know that men rape men… I am fully aware of this. It angers me just as much as men raping women. Even with the increased awareness that rape is a violent crime of power, I don’t think people are getting it yet. It’s not always just physical power, it’s not just strength these rapists want to prove… they want control. One doesn’t need to be violent to control. We are talking the typical power-hungry people of Wall Street and politicians. They spend their lives seeking to control others – and very rarely do they use violence to do it. They even use rape victims to gain more power and control – “rape must be ‘forcible,'” “men can’t be raped,” “she regretted consensual sex,” “it’s almost impossible to get pregnant by rape [because I don’t want a good reason to uphold the legality of abortion].” It’s ALL about control. Even the National Spiritual Assembly of the United States is trying to control me by telling me to be silent. And after typing all of this out, I think this is the first time in my life I’ve ever seriously considered supporting the legalization of marijuana. Maybe it would make people chill out a bit more and need control a bit less.