The payback

Ah, I have been told that my last post was a violation of privacy – religious confidentiality, so to speak.  So, the best I can tell you is that you shouldn’t read the previous post.  I am not allowed to talk about what happened to me that day so many years ago – because it is backbiting (against Baha’i law).  From the Free Merriam-Webster dictionary… backbiting: to say mean or spiteful things about.  I must have failed my English courses in school.  I don’t believe that telling the truth about a predator and what he did to me is saying something particularly mean or spiteful.  I believe that it would be if it wasn’t fact.  But, he admitted it.  He had a choice to not be a predator.  He chose that label when he violated me and others.  And yet, I am not allowed to tell my story to others (though I was given permission to tell a religious organization, police, counselor, or judge).  I was told I can tell my life… but I am not allowed to tell Dr. Ma’ani’s life.  Really?  So, when I tell my life story, I have to pretend that didn’t happen because his crime belongs to him more than my victimization belongs to me.

WOW.  This is why we need to fight these kinds of attitudes!  It just sickens me that they try to keep my silence by using God’s laws against me.  I have a strange feeling God doesn’t want sexual abuse and assault hushed or hidden.  But, that’s just me… and since the NSA was elected to watch over Baha’is of the United States, they know God better than I ever could…. right?  One problem with that.  One of the basic teachings of the Baha’i Faith is that NO person is closer to God than another… NO person is supposed to claim themselves to be on a higher level of spirituality or claim they know what God wants more than someone else.  No priests or ministers to tell you God’s wishes for you. You figure it out on your own.  But, I’m just a grown-up version of a 16 year old who got sexually assaulted by an old man.  I obviously have no worth.

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